humor, Open Topic, pictures

RE Comedy from the onion

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Growing weary of watching the slow-as-paint daily moves of the real estate market?

Tired of hearing the back-and-forth prognostications of experts proclaiming endless riches / impending collapse?

How about some humor to pass the time?

Some great lines if you click through the slideshow

“Never imagined you’d be 35, married with two kids, and working a job you can’t stand in a town you once vowed to leave? Then this 3-bedroom, 2.5-bath suburban monument to averageness is for you! Easy access to strip malls, chain restaurants, and charming walking trails for quiet sobbing. Reference number 4JF389”

…. and so on.

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Ulsterman
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A couple of weekend anecdote from the weekend BBQ circuit: 1) chatting to a construction guy working on an East Van reno. Average Joe living there who bought 15 years ago when life was cheaper. They are into a very substantial reno that is completely gutting the main and top floors. They’re living in the basement until the work is done. To paraphrase the construction guy, “Yeah, he’s stressing right out about the money. Since we started he’s had two nervous breakdowns. Been fully hospitalized and everything.” 2) another friend of a friend just sold his SFH somewhere near Cambie and 50’ish. Been on the market since November with, in his words, “…nothing but low-ball offers.” A builder finally offered him closer to his asking and he jumped. He bought 10 years ago, so i asked him what made him… Read more »
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6 years 5 months ago
registered
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Did the Onion publish a Vancouver Craigslist ad in error?

“Don’t miss this gorgeous condo with WALL-TO-WALL ceilings, STAINLESS STEEL nails, and in-unit W/D (white doors). Your kids and pets will just love roaming the LARGE YARD-wide hallways! To schedule a viewing, contact real estate agent Ms. GRANITE H. COUNTERTOPS today! Reference number X33JS”

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6 years 5 months ago
registered
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@1 Ulsterman: Re: 1, late last year I rented a typical east Toronto bungalow next door to one of the 2-storey McHomes plaguing the local landscape. My neighbour was in full reno, steel bin in the driveway mode until spring when he listed it for just shy of 3/4 mill. It quickly went to a youngish couple (early thirties best guess) who immediately parked two bins in the driveway, tore out all the previous owner’s upgrades and started on contracted renovations which are still ongoing today. The median home price around here seems to be $4-500K.
What people are thinking is beyond me.

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6 years 5 months ago
patriotz
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Home prices rise in most U.S. cities

Seems US house prices, overall, have hit the nominal bottom.

April’s increases still leave average home prices in the U.S. 1.9 per cent lower than they were a year ago. But that’s an improvement from the 2.6 per cent drop that was seen in March. Prices in 10 of the 20 cities were up on a year-over-year basis.

Despite the gains, U.S. home prices remain 34 per cent below their pre-recession peak. Sales are also well off the levels seen in 2006.

Now how long before some idiot comes on this board and claims that this is bullish for Canadian RE.

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6 years 5 months ago
Anonymous
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@patriotz: “Seems US house prices, overall, have hit the nominal bottom.”

I doubt it. The US is heading into a recession, Europe is about to implode and interest rates are already at bottom. There is still lots more to go down although some areas may have bottomed. Check for the bottom in about 5 years.

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6 years 5 months ago
Alum
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http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/story/2012-06-26/economic-reports-June-26/55834678/1 Housing prices rose in most of the country in April, as record low mortgage rates and some of the cheapest housing prices in decades spurred some long-desired home sales, while consumer confidence dropped in June for the fourth straight month as fewer consumers predicted the economy will pick up later this year. A sign advertises another home sold, this one in Gilbert, Ariz., near the Phoenix area. David Wallace, The Republic A sign advertises another home sold, this one in Gilbert, Ariz., near the Phoenix area. Enlarge David Wallace, The Republic A sign advertises another home sold, this one in Gilbert, Ariz., near the Phoenix area. Sponsored Links The S&P/Case-Shiller composite index of U.S. home prices rose 1.3% for the month. The index fell 1.9% for the year that ended in April, Standard & Poor’s reported today. The Conference… Read more »
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6 years 5 months ago
N
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@Anonymous:

This is only a bottom for US RE if interest rates never rise again.

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6 years 5 months ago
jesse
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@N: “This is only a bottom for US RE if interest rates never rise again.”

The argument that negative real rates can support prices is dubious.

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6 years 5 months ago
dire straits
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well as long line for food stamps are getting bigger every year and i don’t think hungry people can support even today’s prices.

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6 years 5 months ago
WFT
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I’m not sure if anyone posted yesterday’s numbers. I didn’t see them posted. So here they are from Larry’s site:

Vancouver East & West*
New Listings – 80

Back On Market Listings – 2

Price Changes – 49

Sold Listings – 37

Vancouver All Areas*
New Listings – 274

Back On Market Listings – 6

Price Changes – 201

Sold Listings – 123

*Attached & Detached – Date: 2012/06/25 Time: 21:20 Pacific YatterMatters.com: Courtesy REBGV. Data believed to be accurate but is not guaranteed.

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6 years 5 months ago
patriotz
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@dire straits:
“i don’t think hungry people can support even today’s prices.”

If they are paying rents that are higher than ownership costs, yes they can.

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6 years 5 months ago
Bull! Bull! Bull!
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Domain Name:VANCOUVERCONDO.INFO
Created On:09-Mar-2006 20:56:22 UTC

It’s now June 2012.

Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.

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HFHC
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My parents in the last month have been inundated with phone calls from real estate agents asking them if they want to sell their house. Has anyone else seen this happen? Are they that desperate?

I’m new to this board. I will try to contribute to this board by providing some mid day stats on sales happening for the day. Paul B does a great job at end of day stats.

I’m interested in the Tri-cities area so most of the stats will be from there.

Also I can look up some info on properties if people would like. I hate that MLS does not provide all the info to the regular joe.

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6 years 5 months ago
dire straits
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rents pay only the ones who have jobs. the ones without move to mom’s basement couch. no household formation no demand for housing.

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6 years 5 months ago
The Ant
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@Bull! Bull! Bull!: wrong? You mean vancouver real estate isn’t overpriced? That’s a relief!

Flaherty and Carney will be so glad to hear that there’s nothing to worry about!

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6 years 5 months ago
Navin R. Johnson
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My wife and I make what would have been considered a few years ago, a pretty decent middle class income. We have four kids and NO mortgage. It seems inflation has really crept up over the last 5-10 years. I’m squeezing every nickel for what it’s worth these days just to meet the demands of every day living. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a relatively new mortgage, car payments, etc., etc….there has to be a lot of sleepless nights happening out there these days.

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6 years 5 months ago
jesse
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@Bull! Bull! Bull!: “Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.”

Buy now or be priced out forever.

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6 years 5 months ago
mac
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@fixie guy: You can thank HGTV for that.

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6 years 5 months ago
mac
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@patriotz: Now all they have to do is normalize interest rates and see where that leaves the market. I believe there are some Vancouverites now slinking down to the US expecting Vancouver-sized returns on the housing market there. Bubbles beget bubbles, after all. What they fail to realize is that housing in the US is still experiencing outsized Federal government support in the guise of ZIRP and Operation Twist I, II and possibly III.

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6 years 5 months ago
piano player
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@Navin R. Johnson

I hear you man,
My car is broken and i need 2k to fix it. I have already put a 1k the month before. I can’t afford to buy new car even with 0% and 84 months financing. and I amking decent coin and work two jobs. Life is so frikin expensive.

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6 years 5 months ago
mac
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Aside from the eventual normalization of interest rates, the US housing market must contend with the end of the robo-signing scandal and resumption of bank foreclosures and short sales. Ritholtz is always good food for thought:

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2012/06/annotated-new-home-sales/

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6 years 5 months ago
registered
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19 mac Says: “Now all they have to do is normalize interest rates and see where that leaves the market.”

Robert Shiller’s inflation-adjusted historical graph shows market prices almost back to the point of stability maintained since World War 2. Given the wild swings in inflation over the period covered it’s unclear whether prices will drop much further without a true Depression-style event.

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6 years 5 months ago
Scott
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@Bull! Bull! Bull!: “Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.” Let’s watch this video of a man throwing a hammer into the air. It’s in slow motion. It’s taking forever for the hammer to just leave the mans hand. 20 minutes later the hammer isn’t even half-way up the screen. You say the hammer won’t come back down, I say it will. Who’s wrong? An hour later the hammer appears to be slowing down near the top of the screen. You say maybe the hammer will slow down, but it won’t fall – it’s been going up forever. You say the hammer will ‘plateau’, I say it will fall. Who’s wrong? 20 minutes later the hammer is definitely going down and who’s that standing directly below it? Why it’s our good friend Bull! Bull! Bull! and now… Read more »
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6 years 5 months ago
Bull! Bull! Bull!
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@Scott: If you bought a condo in 2006 you could put it on the market today, lower than market, have it sell fast and walk away with a lot of money.

this site is a waste of time.

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6 years 5 months ago
Scott
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@Bull! Bull! Bull!: Well you sure seem to waste a lot of time on it.

Tell me, Did you buy in 2006 and sell now?

If you sold now and got out of the market, why?

If you haven’t sold, how have you made money?

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6 years 5 months ago