RE Comedy from the onion

Growing weary of watching the slow-as-paint daily moves of the real estate market?

Tired of hearing the back-and-forth prognostications of experts proclaiming endless riches / impending collapse?

How about some humor to pass the time?

Some great lines if you click through the slideshow

“Never imagined you’d be 35, married with two kids, and working a job you can’t stand in a town you once vowed to leave? Then this 3-bedroom, 2.5-bath suburban monument to averageness is for you! Easy access to strip malls, chain restaurants, and charming walking trails for quiet sobbing. Reference number 4JF389”

…. and so on.

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Member

Ulsterman

4 years 3 months ago

A couple of weekend anecdote from the weekend BBQ circuit: 1) chatting to a construction guy working on an East Van reno. Average Joe living there who bought 15 years ago when life was cheaper. They are into a very substantial reno that is completely gutting the main and top floors. They’re living in the basement until the work is done. To paraphrase the construction guy, “Yeah, he’s stressing right out about the money. Since we started he’s had two nervous breakdowns. Been fully hospitalized and everything.” 2) another friend of a friend just sold his SFH somewhere near Cambie… Read more »

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fixie guy

4 years 3 months ago

Did the Onion publish a Vancouver Craigslist ad in error?

“Don’t miss this gorgeous condo with WALL-TO-WALL ceilings, STAINLESS STEEL nails, and in-unit W/D (white doors). Your kids and pets will just love roaming the LARGE YARD-wide hallways! To schedule a viewing, contact real estate agent Ms. GRANITE H. COUNTERTOPS today! Reference number X33JS”

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fixie guy

4 years 3 months ago

@1 Ulsterman: Re: 1, late last year I rented a typical east Toronto bungalow next door to one of the 2-storey McHomes plaguing the local landscape. My neighbour was in full reno, steel bin in the driveway mode until spring when he listed it for just shy of 3/4 mill. It quickly went to a youngish couple (early thirties best guess) who immediately parked two bins in the driveway, tore out all the previous owner’s upgrades and started on contracted renovations which are still ongoing today. The median home price around here seems to be $4-500K. What people are thinking… Read more »

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

Home prices rise in most U.S. cities Seems US house prices, overall, have hit the nominal bottom. April’s increases still leave average home prices in the U.S. 1.9 per cent lower than they were a year ago. But that’s an improvement from the 2.6 per cent drop that was seen in March. Prices in 10 of the 20 cities were up on a year-over-year basis. Despite the gains, U.S. home prices remain 34 per cent below their pre-recession peak. Sales are also well off the levels seen in 2006. Now how long before some idiot comes on this board and… Read more »

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Guest

Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

@patriotz: “Seems US house prices, overall, have hit the nominal bottom.”

I doubt it. The US is heading into a recession, Europe is about to implode and interest rates are already at bottom. There is still lots more to go down although some areas may have bottomed. Check for the bottom in about 5 years.

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Alum

4 years 3 months ago

http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/story/2012-06-26/economic-reports-June-26/55834678/1 Housing prices rose in most of the country in April, as record low mortgage rates and some of the cheapest housing prices in decades spurred some long-desired home sales, while consumer confidence dropped in June for the fourth straight month as fewer consumers predicted the economy will pick up later this year. A sign advertises another home sold, this one in Gilbert, Ariz., near the Phoenix area. David Wallace, The Republic A sign advertises another home sold, this one in Gilbert, Ariz., near the Phoenix area. Enlarge David Wallace, The Republic A sign advertises another home sold, this one… Read more »

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Guest

4 years 3 months ago

@Anonymous:

This is only a bottom for US RE if interest rates never rise again.

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Member

jesse

4 years 3 months ago

@N: “This is only a bottom for US RE if interest rates never rise again.”

The argument that negative real rates can support prices is dubious.

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Guest

dire straits

4 years 3 months ago

well as long line for food stamps are getting bigger every year and i don’t think hungry people can support even today’s prices.

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Guest

WFT

4 years 3 months ago

I’m not sure if anyone posted yesterday’s numbers. I didn’t see them posted. So here they are from Larry’s site:

Vancouver East & West*
New Listings – 80

Back On Market Listings – 2

Price Changes – 49

Sold Listings – 37

Vancouver All Areas*
New Listings – 274

Back On Market Listings – 6

Price Changes – 201

Sold Listings – 123

*Attached & Detached – Date: 2012/06/25 Time: 21:20 Pacific YatterMatters.com: Courtesy REBGV. Data believed to be accurate but is not guaranteed.

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

@dire straits:
“i don’t think hungry people can support even today’s prices.”

If they are paying rents that are higher than ownership costs, yes they can.

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Guest

Bull! Bull! Bull!

4 years 3 months ago

Domain Name:VANCOUVERCONDO.INFO
Created On:09-Mar-2006 20:56:22 UTC

It’s now June 2012.

Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.

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Guest

HFHC

4 years 3 months ago

My parents in the last month have been inundated with phone calls from real estate agents asking them if they want to sell their house. Has anyone else seen this happen? Are they that desperate? I’m new to this board. I will try to contribute to this board by providing some mid day stats on sales happening for the day. Paul B does a great job at end of day stats. I’m interested in the Tri-cities area so most of the stats will be from there. Also I can look up some info on properties if people would like. I… Read more »

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dire straits

4 years 3 months ago

rents pay only the ones who have jobs. the ones without move to mom’s basement couch. no household formation no demand for housing.

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Member

The Ant

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: wrong? You mean vancouver real estate isn’t overpriced? That’s a relief!

Flaherty and Carney will be so glad to hear that there’s nothing to worry about!

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Navin R. Johnson

4 years 3 months ago

My wife and I make what would have been considered a few years ago, a pretty decent middle class income. We have four kids and NO mortgage. It seems inflation has really crept up over the last 5-10 years. I’m squeezing every nickel for what it’s worth these days just to meet the demands of every day living. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a relatively new mortgage, car payments, etc., etc….there has to be a lot of sleepless nights happening out there these days.

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Member

jesse

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: “Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.”

Buy now or be priced out forever.

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Member

mac

4 years 3 months ago

@fixie guy: You can thank HGTV for that.

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Member

mac

4 years 3 months ago

@patriotz: Now all they have to do is normalize interest rates and see where that leaves the market. I believe there are some Vancouverites now slinking down to the US expecting Vancouver-sized returns on the housing market there. Bubbles beget bubbles, after all. What they fail to realize is that housing in the US is still experiencing outsized Federal government support in the guise of ZIRP and Operation Twist I, II and possibly III.

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Guest

piano player

4 years 3 months ago

@Navin R. Johnson

I hear you man,
My car is broken and i need 2k to fix it. I have already put a 1k the month before. I can’t afford to buy new car even with 0% and 84 months financing. and I amking decent coin and work two jobs. Life is so frikin expensive.

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Member

mac

4 years 3 months ago

Aside from the eventual normalization of interest rates, the US housing market must contend with the end of the robo-signing scandal and resumption of bank foreclosures and short sales. Ritholtz is always good food for thought:

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2012/06/annotated-new-home-sales/

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fixie guy

4 years 3 months ago

19 mac Says: “Now all they have to do is normalize interest rates and see where that leaves the market.”

Robert Shiller’s inflation-adjusted historical graph shows market prices almost back to the point of stability maintained since World War 2. Given the wild swings in inflation over the period covered it’s unclear whether prices will drop much further without a true Depression-style event.

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Guest

Scott

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: “Vancouvercondo.info, wrong for more than half a decade and counting.” Let’s watch this video of a man throwing a hammer into the air. It’s in slow motion. It’s taking forever for the hammer to just leave the mans hand. 20 minutes later the hammer isn’t even half-way up the screen. You say the hammer won’t come back down, I say it will. Who’s wrong? An hour later the hammer appears to be slowing down near the top of the screen. You say maybe the hammer will slow down, but it won’t fall – it’s been going up… Read more »

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Bull! Bull! Bull!

4 years 3 months ago

@Scott: If you bought a condo in 2006 you could put it on the market today, lower than market, have it sell fast and walk away with a lot of money.

this site is a waste of time.

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Guest

Scott

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: Well you sure seem to waste a lot of time on it.

Tell me, Did you buy in 2006 and sell now?

If you sold now and got out of the market, why?

If you haven’t sold, how have you made money?

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Member

jesse

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: “this site is a waste of time”

Your ironic comments are noted. And with that, troll, I bid you good day.

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Guest

Best place on meth

4 years 3 months ago

@patriotz:

“Seems US house prices, overall, have hit the nominal bottom.”

Based on a small spring bounce?

Doubt it.

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Member

Not much of a name...

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: If you bought a condo in 2006 you could put it on the market today, lower than market, have it sell fast and walk away with a lot of money. I guess it depends on how you define “a lot of money”. In NV, the market I follow, based on the benchmarks from the REBGV, condos have gone from $295k in May of 2006 to $352k in May of 2012. That is an increase of $57k over 6 years. A big whopping 19%. This does not include the carrying costs or closing costs of the sale. So,… Read more »

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Bull! Bull! Bull!

4 years 3 months ago

@jesse: “Your ironic comments are noted.”

It’s important that people hear the truth about the advice on this site. I don’t want to see anyone fall into the bear trap.

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Member

Not much of a name...

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!: So your advice is to buy today?

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Guest

Best place on meth

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!:

“If you bought a condo in 2006 you could put it on the market today, lower than market, have it sell fast and walk away with a lot of money.”

So you’re saying now is a great time to cash out.

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Member

mac

4 years 3 months ago

@fixie guy: Well. Don’t speak too soon. I believe Merkel just said, “No shared total liability as long as I live.” That could do it. Great Recession Part Deux here we come.

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Member

VMD

4 years 3 months ago

Some Lenders Implement New Rules Early
the window narrows…

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Member

mac

4 years 3 months ago

@VMD: Nice. If “the insurer” aka: bureaucrat has too much paperwork on his or her desk, they’ll decline you anyways because they don’t want to miss their coffee break or work late. Love it.

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Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

a unit in my building just sold, it is a one bedroom suite in Vancouver, the price had been lowered once, and it ended up selling for $3,000 below the last asking price. It was listed for over 2 months. here is the kicker, and i kid you not….. It sold for the lowest price that any other unit (besides studio suites) has sold for in this building since 2007! there have been approx 7 1-bedroom sales in this building since 2007, this unit sold for 17% less than the highest sale price since 2007 after realtor fees of about… Read more »

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Told Yous

4 years 3 months ago

On the Langdale Ferry to the Sunshine Coast, and some knob realtor is trying to cram her client into a 30 year amortization before the new rules kick in. As she says, ” as long as you get the application in before July 9th you are fine – you do not have to close by the 9th.” She is actually claiming that the guys lowball bid of 10k less is “insulting” on a 570k house. Remember, this is the Sunshine Coast where inventory is huge, houses are languishing, and prices dropping. Since when is 10k below asking lowballing and insulting.… Read more »

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Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

@Told Yous:

“trying to cram her client into a 30 year amortization before the new rules kick in”

Perhaps their client had expressed prior interest in a 30yr amort?

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

@Bull! Bull! Bull!:
“If you bought a condo in 2006 you could put it on the market today, lower than market, have it sell fast and walk away with a lot of money.”

No more than a few people who bought in 2006 will do this, nor could more than a few without driving down prices.

That’s the point you don’t get. Something is really only a buy at a given price if everyone who bought at that price will make money on it in aggregate.

Otherwise it’s just a bad buy that a few people might unload to a greater fool.

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Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

@patriotz:

The problem is banks don’t want to lend to many people. It is not just about prices being cheaper than rent. Ever wonder why people pay 22% interest for credit cards or why people rent to own furnature? Both cost more than many alternatives.

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

@Told Yous:
“On the Langdale Ferry to the Sunshine Coast, and some knob realtor is trying to cram her client into a 30 year amortization before the new rules kick in.”

Her client is the seller, not the buyer. Her job is to get the highest possible price for the seller.

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

@Anonymous:
“The problem is banks don’t want to lend to many people.”

That’s not a problem for buyers with cash, that’s a plus.

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HFHC

4 years 3 months ago

New Listings 138
Back On Market Listings 5
Price Changes 105
Sold Listings 87

AS OF 12:28pm

Sales are expected to be a little higher due to closing sales by IDIOTS

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Yalie

4 years 3 months ago

@HFHC:

Sales are expected to be a little higher due to closing sales by to IDIOTS

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Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

@patriotz:

And you think there are a lot of cash buyers waiting on the sidelines in the US? I dont. The only ones with cash have to sell their homes first.

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Member

patriotz

4 years 3 months ago

@Anonymous:
There are plenty of people with cash in the US, and plenty with cash outside the US.

The % of RE sales to cash buyers in the US is at a historic high.

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Member

VMD

4 years 3 months ago

@Yalie:
well said.
My hunch is that new listings will be significantly higher (300+/day) by end of this week (before the long weekend) and stay high next week. There are bound to be some smarter/scared investors/home-owners who know This might be the last chance to get out of the derailed train. (The smartest ones already exited last year)

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Anon

4 years 3 months ago

patriotz: “There are plenty of people with cash in the US, and plenty with cash outside the US.”

yeah right, i buy tree my husba buy tree. US RE is toast and it will stay toast for forseeable future.

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BulbsForSale

4 years 3 months ago

@Anon: I think you’re arguing the same point. US RE is toast and that’s good for the few buyers that have cash and want to buy property.

‘Toast’ doesn’t mean no one is buying, it means very few are buying and all sellers are competing to try to get the few buyers to buy their home.

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Anonymous

4 years 3 months ago

@Anonymous: “And you think there are a lot of cash buyers waiting on the sidelines in the US?”

According to this article there are :

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-13/private-equity-has-too-much-money-to-spend-on-homes-mortgages.html

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fixie guy

4 years 3 months ago

@47 Anon: Almost back to historically normal valuations that the market will bear without stimulus or financial malfeasance is a curious use of ‘toast’.

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Vancouver Condo Info

RE Comedy from the onion

Bubble? What Bubble?