Chuck Norris and Vancouver Facts

Bubble blind Canadians are amazed at the asking price for the Dallas home of Chuck Norris.

Yes, Vancouver, there are places you can get a decent home for $1.2 million.

You’d have to make do with just 4 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms in just over 7,000 square feet.

There’s a theater, a gym, a pool. You know, the basics.

Chuck Norris House

 

Of course, what it doesn’t have is Vancouver.

And for those that don’t know, here are a few Vancouver facts courtesy of reader crikey

Vancouver fact #20:
In Vancouver you can ski, surf, swim, and spend eight hours in the Emergency Room waiting to see a doctor to treat your hypothermia — all in the same day!

Vancouver fact #56:
Vancouver’s property salepeople’s tears can cure cancer. Its a shame that none of them will ever have reason to cry, since Vancouver home prices are only ever going to go up.

Vancouver fact #106
Vancouver could shrink its abundance of rainy days if it *really* wanted to. But Vancouver chooses to allow so much crummy weather every year because it is being ironically hip.

Vancouver fact #66
Children in Vancouver seldom bother to buy chewing gum. There is no point do doing so, because everybody knows that some fundamental laws don’t apply to Vancouver, bubbles cannot ever form in Vancouver.

Vancouver fact #27
Vancouver is home to the greatest Wizards in on Earth! Harry Potter and Gandalf look like rank amateurs compared to Cam Good, a Wizard/salesperson who once put a group of Vancouver property salespeople in a yellow helicopter and magically transformed them on the evening TV news into well-monied overseas investors scouring the city for purchases. More recently, the Wizards at ‘MAC Marketing Solutions’ took two unrelated employees with different nationalities
and magically turned them, on various leading nightly TV new broadcasts, into sisters whose wealthy parents were buying into the condominium market — from the selfsame building MAC was marketing!

Vancouver fact #28
Vancouver real estate journalists are wary of accusations that they are helping pressure locals into buying by publicizing a real estate marketing narrative that rich overseas customers are about to snap up all new developments coming up for sale. They graciously invite anybody to send their concerns in a bright red envelope to: “Golden Double Lucky Comments, Box 888, Realty Journalists Association, Vancouver”.

Vancouver fact #103
So many cities are now using the ‘World Class’ moniker to describe particular attributes or initiatives related to their cities, that the expression has become passe. Cities that want others to think their humble little burgs are really happening are now using the term, ‘Vancouver Class’.

Vancouver fact #40
Contrary to popular belief, Vancouver does not have a thriving population of bonafide homeless, beggars, and drug addicts. They are in fact all very talented and convincing actors paid very well to give the city an exciting ‘edge’.

Vancouver fact #41
Vancouver is so overwhelming rich that, all its social and economic problems having long since been solved, recently over half a billion dollars ($563 million) was absentmindedly thrown at buying a new stadium roof with expensive features that few citizens particularly wanted. To give it a familiar Vancouver feel, the newly completed roof included various leaks, as is a longstanding expensive tradition in Vancouver building and condominium projects.

Vancouver fact #9
Unlike most of their counterparts around the world, Vancouver’s real estate professionals pander to *nobody* and are extremely skilled with numbers. Recently, for example, the Vancouver real estate board’s crack team of objective data analysts even found a mistake in Vancouver’s census figures — and clarified that the population of Vancouver is NOT 650,000 but it is actually 888,888 .

Vancouver fact #26
Angels up in Heaven hope and pray that when they die they will go to Vancouver — and qualify for a $1 million dollar bank mortgage on a starter tear-down “character” stucco box in the seedier part of the city’s East side.

Vancouver fact #10
Much like any other peasant that doesn’t live in Vancouver, Albert Einstein was obsessed with the city. For example, he was in fact explaining the Vancouver media’s universal real estate reporting philosophy when he famously said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge”.

Vancouver fact #63
The term “Wet Dream” was actually originally concocted to describe the perfect paradise that is Vancouver’s many, many rainy days of the year. More recently, the phrase “Every Person’s Wet Dream!” nearly beat out “Best Place on Earth” as motto for the province’s longrunning advertising campaign.

Vancouver fact #104
Vancouver is part of one of the highest child poverty rates in Canada. But that is only because everybody in Vancouver is so very rich that a number of children in family-owned million-dollar homes are counted as living in poverty. It is a testament to the success of the government assistance programs that many of these same poor rich children, in million dollar homes and receiving government assistance, miraculously turn their lives around by the time they hit driving age and are able to procure luxury European cars.

Vancouver fact #22
Vancouver will never, ever be visited by Chuck Norris. If such a conjoining of greatness did not cause a rift in space-time, at the very least it would leave onlookers depressed and suicidal as they realize there is nothing even remotely as amazing left to look forward to in life.

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7 years ago

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7 years ago

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7 years ago

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Naked Official #9000
7 years ago

@64

Loyal Cadre Softly, self criticism has not been used since the cultural revolution

which of course, never happened!

Not Ready To Be Slave
Not Ready To Be Slave
7 years ago

After 9 years spent in Raincouver we relocated to Okanagan (just finished the major moving activities today).

Man, what a difference! Better air (dry), better people (have some good stories to share already), better roads, better view, sane housing prices (and everybody here are in concensus – it is going down and will continue to do so for a loooong time), luxury boats are selling for 1/3 price, … it feels like a different contry here!

Ulsterman
7 years ago

“In 2000 one bedroom condos DT were going for $99,999. In 2001, when I started looking they were going for $165,000.” “One word: BULLSHIT.” I agree with Democrass on this one who said: It’s probably true. Look up the presale prices for the Savoy on Richards $99K and then “The Max” presales for a year later at around $165K for a one bedroom. I know people that bought in both buildings at the presales in 2000 and 2001 respectively I think people who weren’t here or were not old enough to be in the market just don’t realise how affordable real estate was back in 1999-2001. I viewed a number of one bedroom condos off Commercial and they were very cheap: By Commercial and 7th / 8th they ranged from 80-90k and rented for 650. Now they rent for much… Read more »

Son of Ponzi
Son of Ponzi
7 years ago

Another Reason why Texas escaped the Bubble.
Believe it or not, Texas has become the fastest growing destination for Chinese immigrants.

No Noise
No Noise
7 years ago

The detached eastside house which I rent is 32x price/rent according to purchase price 1 year ago. I suspect with price drops that ratio is around 25x now. However, I sublet the basement with plenty of room for my family of 4 left over (with a massive west facing deck) which pushes my personal rent/own to 50x. BTW the owner has had to plow approx $3k into repairs in the past year (appliances, roof, plumbing) – perhaps an easy year actually.

Democrass
Democrass
7 years ago

“One word: BULLSHIT.”

It’s probably true. Look up the presale prices for the Savoy on Richards $99K and then “The Max” presales for a year later at around $165K for a one bedroom. I know people that bought in both buildings at the presales in 2000 and 2001 respectively.

Son of Ponzi
Son of Ponzi
7 years ago

Here’s a comment by Arnold Shuchat regarding current sales:
“I figure it’s both sides of the market: move ups and down sizers”.
So, in essence move ups are buying from the down sizers and vice versa.
So it appears that new buyers are not a force in the current market as they have been in the past.
And, without new money, the Ponzi scheme will collapse.
See A.Shuchat’s comment on VPD.
http://vancouverpricedrop.wordpress.com/2013/06/27/drop-from-peak-chart-may-2013/#comments
The comment was posted Jul 22 at 3:32 p.m.

crabman
crabman
7 years ago

Another reason Texas escaped the bubble – common sense mortgage regulations.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/03/AR2010040304983.html

crabman
crabman
7 years ago

10x rent tops for a downtown condo? If that is your standard, you will never buy. (BTW, I’m talking highrise concrete, reasonable quality building – not a leaky wood West-end old-timer)

In 2001, I bought a place that would have rented for $1,200/month and paid $209,000. The P/R ratio was 14.5 and buying was a no-brainer. I sold for double that amount in 2006.

Today, that place would rent for about $1,800. IMO, $325k would be a fair price. But the bubble has driven the price up to the high $400s – about 45% higher than I think it should be.

Son of Ponzi
Son of Ponzi
7 years ago

This is an old trick by MLS.
Carry listings in the last few days of the month over to the next month.
And book all sales and expireds in the current month.
That’s what’s called creative accounting.

paulb
7 years ago

New Listings 192
Price Changes 76
Sold Listings 149
TI:17940

http://www.paulboenisch.com

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Best place on meth
7 years ago

“In 2000 one bedroom condos DT were going for $99,999. In 2001, when I started looking they were going for $165,000.”

One word: BULLSHIT.

patriotz
7 years ago

“I will know it’s time to buy when the typical Vancouver condo is selling for less than 20x annual rent (15x would be better).”

Condo? 10x, tops.

patriotz
7 years ago

“I mean, there must be good reasons for such a reasonable price in Dallas.”

One simple reason is that property tax rates are far higher than they are in Vancouver. Total rates are 2.73%, which means that Chuck’s house pays about $30K per year.

Son of Ponzi
Son of Ponzi
7 years ago

I know it will be time to buy when
Rent >= complete cost of ownership.

crabman
crabman
7 years ago

I will know it’s time to buy when the typical Vancouver condo is selling for less than 20x annual rent (15x would be better).

The place I am currently renting would cost 26x rent.

mosesupposes
mosesupposes
7 years ago

@93 – “Maple Ridge, Langley, Surrey has affordable detached housing for working class couples at 3-4X annual incomes, assuming a couple decent working salaries of 40-50K each)” First off, people who are complaining about Vancouver housing price are generally not complaining about Kits. People understand that certain areas will always be priced high. What people complain about is $1 million+ crack shacks in East Van or near suburbs like Burnaby. Second, based on the high end of your example (being two incomes of $50K willingly to go to 4X annual income)you’d have a budget of $400K. A rough search of mls indicates there are about 3,500 houses for sale in Surrey. Of these 73 or about 2% of the total are $400K or under. In Maple Ridge there are about 950 houses for sale 90 or less than 10% of… Read more »

Question for the bears
Question for the bears
7 years ago

@75 – “I’m constantly amazed at the high prices”

Well, where exactly are you looking? Maple Ridge, Langley, Surrey has affordable detached housing for working class couples at 3-4X annual incomes, assuming a couple decent working salaries of 40-50K each). Places in Kits and the like ~ typically you would be better off renting?

I would still like to know from the bears on here how they’ll know they have the “green light” to go out and get housing ~ what valuation method are we using to know when something is fairly valued? Is the 3X average income metric still being used?

Softy
Softy
7 years ago

“grown” should be “growth”.

Softy
Softy
7 years ago

“How many people said that Vancouver RE was going to drop in 2001?” Exactly 156,497 people said that Vancouver RE was going to drop in 2001. Rediculous questions gets a rediculous answer. In 2000 one bedroom condos DT were going for $99,999. In 2001, when I started looking they were going for $165,000. By the logic of most bears, a 65% increase in a year is not justified by polulation grown, GDP growth, income grown or growth in rents. You see, by your logic you will always be wrong. You say there was no bubble in 2001 but if you apply today’s bear logic to 2001 the conclusion is it was a bubble. That is why you are always wrong, year after year for over a decade. Analyze your own assumptions and the history of your conclusions, back test your… Read more »

Softy
Softy
7 years ago

“Great Cournot Correction”

What?

Nashin' my teeth
Nashin' my teeth
7 years ago

softly, Potash crashes today. Oligopologists run for their Game Theory dictionaries.. as the world dives deeper into the Great Cournot Correction